Category Archives: selfportraits
This is an inkdrawing . Part of it was done on the train, but part of it also in the countryside. Sometimes I DRAW things from ”inner observation”, funny how the verb “to draw “in the sense of ”to pull” applies here . When I do this, I don’t really know what the drawings means, but understand only much later. You who draw and paint and doodle, you know this kind of state we’re in then.
I cannot color this drawing – for now it doesn’t need color. Some kind of self-portrait.
No, I don’t look like that nor do I wear this expression…..but I, like everybody else I guess, DO feel sometimes insecure, and this is my translation of my feeling into a representation of a human figure….so perhaps this can be qualified as a self-portrait at a certain moment…
Let’s see if I can create a balance by drawing a less unsettling feeling next time
©estandrea – Parisdreamtime 2010
Yesterday I realized, that I felt disconnected from my emotions.
Which means that I feel disconnected from my Self.
It’s working on all this administrative stuff which does that, plus the work on a very technical, “calculated” painting. Yesterday I talked about this painting with Kim, who suggested that putting aside the painting and do something else more relaxed and emotional would perhaps make working on that more technical one easier later on…..
We need this kind of advice regularly, because it helps us to pull us out of that tight space we put ourselves into sometimes, and where we don’t want to let go because we want it done, and perfectly done. The enemy of “good” is “better”, a young woman and ski-champion yesterday said on TV, after having bungled her ski-run!
This morning, just when I was going to sit down and work some more on the computer I told myself not to do that. Instead I grabbed my oilpastel box and a block of brown paper. All I longed for was doodle, be abstract and playful.
At first there were just blue and violet marks on the paper, then came a yellow and a red dot, then some ochre, all this slowly metamorphosing into what I right now invent a word for: a “Humanonymous” = human anonymous head:) Then I remembered, that I had to get back into touch with my emotions and therefore decided to make a self-portrait. Within half an hour, this came collapsing out of me. What thrills me is the serene expression on my face and how young I look. Sure that is not me but is me. Now I can go back to this other painting exercise!
How do YOU connect with your emotions?